Hey there 🙂
It’s been a while…I know.
The past month has been a bit of a blur around here so I guess that’s kind of what this post will be. A recap of the blur. Let’s see…
Canada’s Wonderland – which was fantastic! We have two little thrill seekers on our hands 🙂 Alexa’s favourite ride was the Thunder Run…the only adult ride that allows little kids on it. It goes through a dark tunnel and has loud thunder noises. Akeisha’s favourite ride of the day was The Bat roller coaster, which she did with me. I still cannot believe she was brave enough to try it, but after she heard that was my favourite she was determined to do it with me. I kept giving her chances to back out while we stood in line and listened to people scream, but she was resolute. She said, “I am scared, but I’m with you, Mommy!” While I screamed she squeezed her eyes shut and when it was over she wanted to go again!
Cottage – we spent a week at the cottage with family, which was lots of fun. I had no idea how the girls would handle a whole week with other people around, but they did really well. We were lucky to have a Bunkie on the property that was our home for the week while the rest of the people were in the main cottage so that gave us some breathing room when we needed it. It was so much fun relaxing and spending time with my siblings, in-laws and nephew. Akeisha and Alexa now know their Freeman relatives quite well 🙂 Both the girls made some huge progress with their swimming over the week. Akeisha loved to jump off the dock with her lifejacket and go for ‘long swims.’ Alexa loved splashing in the shallow water and playing with the sand. I am so happy they love the water and are comfortable in it since we are surrounded by so many rivers and lakes. Both the girls also got to try tubing for the first time and love it, though they still have moments where fear overrides the thrill.
Camping – we spent this past weekend with friends camping out on the Bay at the same spot we enjoyed last time. Beautiful weather, delicious food, and comfortable companions made it a relaxing weekend we all enjoyed.
School shopping – A few weeks ago I took the girls for our official ‘school shopping’ trip. My mom accompanied us as well and it was an exciting day as they picked out their new backpacks, lunch pails, pencil cases, pencil crayons, etc.
In the middle of all that we ‘officially’ transitioned to worshipping with a new body of believers, which really didn’t affect the girls but was wrought with emotional landmines for me. So many words I could express but I feel so small and unwise and fear I will only say the wrong thing. I do not wish to lay myself foolishly on the tracks before a roaring train. Maybe later the waves will calm a bit and I’ll be able to examine the beautiful shells beneath the surface but right now I’m just not ready. We are relieved to have found our spiritual safe haven and a place to plant our family, but sad to be leaving friends we love. We will be ok, despite misunderstandings and awkward moments. God is still the same.
School is next on the horizon, and last week we were able to meet the girls’ teachers and principals as well as see their classrooms. They are so excited for school to start and are anxiously counting down the days. Alexa will be entering Gr. 1 and Akeisha Gr. 2. Their school is just down the street from our home and we’ve had wonderful experiences there in the past. The environment is inclusive and flexible to create space for children with exceptionalities to thrive. Though some question our decision to enroll our daughters in public school, we are confident we are making the right decision for them at this time. We will take a year at a time. I am excited to get back in the classroom as well a few mornings a week and get back into the routine of school. I feel we’re all ready for some space and predictability, though I will miss knowing every little thing that’s happening in their lives. It’s been such an intense summer and I’m ready for a little breathing space each day. I can feel myself running extremely low on emotional energy some days, which is of course followed by guilt when I respond with impatience to my daughters’ craving for affection and reassurance of my love for them. I easily forget the tumultuous half year they’ve had when it feels in so many ways we’ve known each other forever. But I’m really excited to be a part of my daughters’ school lives and to bless them in all kinds of new ways. Meeting those smiling eyes each afternoon at the gate, packing those small lunch bags with thoughtful care and listening to the day’s experiences told in their scattered sentences and phrases.
So that’s us.
Day after day, we live life and breathe in the gifts God has given us. Sometimes it feels like we’re stumbling around in the dark or turning on our own team mates. We grow discouraged, we cry and eventually we get back up to try all over again. Just around the corner our lives will swell to include extra people again. We’ve been pretty secluded this summer…focused on building our family identity. We needed that time. But there’s a teenage girl I’ve missed all summer who will be back home across the street very soon, and we will set an extra place at the table, play games, cook together and try to immerse her in the grace and love we’ve been given through Jesus Christ. Our 3 year old god daughter is starting school for the very first time while her beautiful mommy recovers from chemotherapy and surgery to hopefully end her battle with cancer. We’ve missed them both so much and they’re two of the people we hold closest to our hearts and family. There will be teachers to meet, new friends to invite for play dates and birthday parties to attend. I am missing some of my adult friends after a summer with the kids and I am looking forward to walks, chats and phone conversations that will not be interrupted. I am looking forward to a cleaner house and more alone time with God.
My Mom has shown me through her life that each season of life brings beauty and joy if we are willing to embrace it. So we will. We will surge into September with zest and courage, knowing that God will be faithful to carry us over every hurdle in our path. As long as our hearts are turned toward Him and our empty hands raised to be filled, He will guide us.