Moving Day

It’s moving day!

Yes, we are finally here ūüôā¬† Today is the day we get to go pick up our girls and bring them home to start FOREVER together!!

It’s funny how things are never quite as you imagined they will be.

Even though I’ve been waiting for this day for so long…now that it’s finally here I don’t really feel all those emotions I thought I would.¬† Well…I do, but they are alongside others that don’t fit so well.

I am so excited, of course…I mean, why wouldn’t I be?!?¬† My daughters are finally going to be here with me, where they belong.¬† I love them so much and I miss them when they’re not here.¬† I love our weekends together, knowing that they’re here within my grasp.¬† That feeling of walking downstairs after we’ve tucked them in and said goodnight a thousand times and gave kisses and backrubs and cuddles…it’s amazing.¬† I love knowing that they’re safe.¬† They’re just up the steps, safe in their pink room and pink beds and pink pajamas.¬† I will know and hear if they are scared or lonely.¬† I can take care of them.¬† When they’re two and a half hours away…I have no idea what they’re doing or how to help.¬† So I can’t wait to have them here with me.

But the last few days I have also been hit by this tsunami size wave of FEAR.

From now on…everything is going to be different…and I’ve never really been that great with change.

Never again will it be just my husband and I…our little family of 2 that I know and love and am so comfortable in.¬† From now on we will always be a family of 4, not 2.¬† This isn’t really anything to be afraid of…except that I have no idea what that is even going to be like or feel like all the time.¬† And I will miss being a family of 2.¬† I am so in love with my husband, and I will miss it just being the 2 of us.¬† I know what it feels like to have children, because we’ve had children in our home lots already…but other times it wasn’t forever.¬† Eventually, they always moved on and it was just the 2 of us again.¬† It’s overwhelming to realize we are really at the end of this¬†stage, of it just being us.¬† I know it’ll be good…and I won’t even think about it.¬† But I have so enjoyed¬† the last couple months, after having kids around so much in the past year, to just enjoy being a couple.¬†¬†I will miss that.¬† I know from experience that having children around does not make your marriage less rich or exciting, but I do know¬†that it’s harder.¬† It’s harder to find time to talk.¬† It’s harder to have energy to¬†do things that are fun and crazy…just for the two of you.¬† It’s harder to get in date nights.¬† It’s harder to know¬†every little¬†thing that’s going on in each other’s lives.¬† It takes a lot of energy and time to parent…and that often means other areas can get neglected a bit sometimes.¬† Lucky for me¬†I have a pretty amazing husband who is always willing to go that extra mile to make sure that I¬†don’t just feel like a harried mama, but also¬†the¬†love of his life ‚̧

I always imagined what this kind of day…the actual day of moving our child home…would feel like.¬† Immediately,¬†you get all these images running through your¬†mind of tears of joy,¬†hugging, kissing, smiling…perfect.¬† After all, there are tons of home videos on YouTube¬†of¬†parents meeting their child for the first time or bringing their children home.¬† But without having done this day yet, I know that’s not exactly a complete picture.¬†¬†To be¬†honest, I am dreading this day a little bit.¬† I wish¬†we could skip over it, because I’m not sure how to best handle it.¬† My girls are not tiny, wide eyed, oblivious¬†one year olds being passed over to their new Mommy and Daddy by cheering nannies.¬† My girls are 5 and 7, and they know exactly what’s happening today.¬†¬†We have been going over and over and over this for weeks now.¬† Today is the day they are saying goodbye.¬† They are saying¬†goodbye to the families they love.¬† They are saying goodbye to the only normal they know.¬† They¬†will see their foster parents cry today,¬†and they will not know what to do with those big feelings inside.¬† I know what it’s like to be a foster parent…and I have no idea how to stand there and watch someone else’s painful goodbye while I wait for my child to come to me.¬† How¬†do you do that well?¬† I’m not sure if it’s more or less complicated¬†that we’ve formed a friendship with these families over the last couple months.¬† Does that make it easier or harder?¬† I think that once¬†the last goodbyes and hugs are given and we are strapped in the van¬†on our way home…we’ll all be fine.¬† We’ve done that part a thousand times now.¬†¬†But it’s just that inevitable moment where you have to watch your little girl give her ‘Mommy’¬†that last hug and kiss goodbye.¬† There is no pretty way to¬†cover up that pain.¬† Right now, they don’t understand why this needs to happen.¬† They’re excited, they’ve bonded and they love us…but they don’t understand why it¬†really needs to happen.¬† Especially my 5 year old.¬†¬†It’s not fair that to get one thing she loves she must give up another.¬†¬† Those feel like adult decisions,¬†not something a child should have to grapple with.

But…that is the reality.

I’m nervous.

I’m scared.

I’m excited.

We will get through today…and maybe it will be better than I¬†could ever hope ūüôā

Tomorrow…on the first day of forever…things will feel pretty normal.¬† The girls will wake up around 6:30 am, start giggling and chattering to each other and creep downstairs¬†once the alarm goes off telling them they may get up.¬† We will eat breakfast…probably Fruit Loops…and go for either a walk or a bike ride.¬†¬†They will play with their dolls and maybe¬†run in the sprinkler if it’s warm.¬†¬†We¬†probably won’t be thinking about forever or goodbyes.¬† In the next week sometime, when they start feeling homesick, we will call and talk to their foster moms and tell them all about what we’ve been doing.¬† I’ll send emails and pictures whenever I think of it, to let them know we still value the love and energy they gave to our daughters and let them see their smiling, happy faces…because that is such a gift.¬† Eventually, after maybe six months or a year, when we know¬†it won’t do more harm than good, we will go back and¬†visit.¬† Maybe we’ll play at the park together or just hang out in the backyard.¬† We’ll build the tentative first straws of a new¬†relationship.¬† One day at a time we will become a family…us¬†4.¬† The girls will eventually have that first day where they call me Mommy every time they talk to me, instead of sometimes Alicia.¬† One day they will be able to talk about how they came to be here, in our family, without that shadow of fear and confusion in their eyes.¬† We will start our own traditions, build our own memories and life will become normal.

I’m ready to begin that.

So…if you read this before 1:00 pm today, June 24, 2014…please say a little prayer for us.¬† We could use¬†some help today.¬† Mostly pray for Akeisha and Alexa…because more than anything I wish we could become a family of 4 without them having to go¬†through this pain¬†and loss.¬† They’ve already dealt with more pain and loss than is fair.¬† Pray that they will be able to¬†do one day at a time, and that¬†they will feel safe and loved…always.

For the next few months we’ll be doing lots of hibernating here…spending as much time as possible just making sure we know who our family is ūüôā¬† Busy starting forever.

Cheers

AF

Choosing to Enjoy Life Without My Galaxy S4 :(

LOL

I just have to laugh out loud at that title I just typed in because it’s so ridiculous ūüôā

But…

I have to tell you this story.

So, in this family we don’t buy phone warranties, because…well…I will give you the short version of my husband’s long lecture on this!!

$7/month for phone warranty adds up to a whoppin’ $84 a year simply on phone warranty that you probably won’t use.¬† That means in 2 years, you’ll pay $164 simply on phone warranty.

I get it.

I agree…sorta.

That is, I did agree…

Except that less than a year ago I got this awesome Galaxy S4¬†that I am totally in love with and my whole life is on there.¬† It’s a super awesome phone.¬† Perfect size, great layout, lots of great features…yadda yadda yadda.¬† It’s my home phone, my cell phone, my quick-looking-up-a-question-tool, my internet router, my music storage, my shopping lists, my menstrual calendar, my email, my GPS, my alarm clock, my connection to just about everyone I know!¬† Whew.¬†¬†(Deep breathing exercises here.)

SO…

when the screen suddenly goes black…it’s not cool.

Not cool at all.

But we’re ok, right?¬† (Please God, let it be ok?!?)

Because Alicia is not addicted to her phone!

In fact, she’s made painful efforts to try to ensure she IS NOT addicted to her phone!¬† She is totally staunch on the rule of not being rudely connected to her phone while in public, socializing, etc…though this may possibly be slipping a bit.

She purposely leaves it behind sometimes when she goes outside (for like a 2 second walk.)¬† She ignores it sometimes when she is busy and hears it ding at her (like if her hands are messy.)¬† She has even made huge efforts to stop checking facebook¬†so many times a day and snooping into other people’s lives and not being ok with just plain boredom!!¬† So Alicia is definitely not addicted to her phone.¬† She is totally ok with the fact that it crashed and her SIM card did not fit into the phone that was supposed to be back up (the clunker she was perfectly happy with until SHINY NEW FANTASTIC S4 came along!)¬† Oh yeah, she was totally cool with this.

So the real story is…I was really, really, really disappointed.

WHY DO WE NOT HAVE PHONE WARRANTY!?!!?

People, this is the second time that this has happened to my marvelous phone in less than a year, so $7 a month would have totally paid off by now!

So I don’t know…

But the thing is, I had to look at that beautiful, sleek little¬†thing lying all torn apart on the dresser¬†and just shake my head.¬† How is it that these little things can totally get my little brain hopping with anxiety?¬† I kept pushing it out of the way like an annoying little mosquito saying, “Really, Alicia?¬† You’re going to let yourself get upset about this?”¬† But it was so hard!¬† Hard on my pride, too.¬† Especially when I KNEW I needed to work on this issue and thought I was doing ok with it!¬† Maybe God just wanted to point out how far I have to go.

The good news is that when my husband got home he was able to make my mini¬†SIM fit just perfectly¬†in the big SIM spot on that old clunker I used to love and make it work ok.¬† I don’t have all my contacts, and some of the syncing was turned off¬†so I didn’t¬†immediately have everything right there…but you know what?¬†¬†This woman is¬†going to learn the lesson this time!¬† I am making some eensy¬†weensy¬†noble choices to try to turn this monster around and put it back in it’s place.

Rule #1 – no FB on my phone.¬† Cuz let’s¬†face it, it just wasn’t working!¬† There were way too many times¬†I found myself standing somewhere scrolling through FB and going…oops,¬†I totally did that without even thinking about whether I really needed to. BIG time waster in my life…especially when it means¬†turning my eyes down from those beautiful little faces that come tromping¬†around here for some attention and loving.¬† Not worth the trade in, folks!¬† It is really not that hard to just take a few extra minutes and tune into FB on our computer, which-WHO KNEW- is perfectly¬†functional!!!¬† It means a few extra minutes effort required to make me stop and think…is this really necessary right now?

Rule #2 – No complaining about the ‘clunker’ that served you faithfully for years.¬† If it was fine then, it’s ok now too…especially since¬†it is actually the phone my husband uses all winter long¬†:/¬† Yes, the¬†speakers are a little crackly and annoying.¬† Yes, he’s got all kinds of¬†junk on there and it doesn’t feel like MINE.¬†¬†Yes, it’s got scratches and it’s too small and it’s old…but no complaining, right?¬† This is major league¬†first world problems here that need a little perspective!

With any luck my husband is going to try fixing that thing up with…a hair dryer?!?!?!¬† Yikes.¬† He is pretty careful though, so I actually am going to trust his call on this one ūüôā¬† Or we might be able to somehow squeeze a phone repair into the budget sometime soon,¬†since my husband really does need his¬†personal/snow removal business phone back as well.¬† But I will try to be patient.¬† I will not whine and complain.¬† I will not feel sorry for myself for not having my beloved S4.¬† I will remember that in the grand scope of things, this is not a big deal at all.

If I do get S4 back again, though…

I will not take her to the beach without putting her in a plastic bag first.

I will not leave her lying on messy counter spaces.

I will leave her in safe places as much as possible.

I will thank God for my working phone.

I will…

Ok, this is getting carried away again.

Sigh.

No wonder¬†Jesus said it is so hard for rich people to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.¬†¬†Even when we think we’ve got that thing under¬†control…those greedy little hands¬†¬†hearts just keep wanting more.

AF

 

Our Beautiful, Diverse Family

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about the different spiritual gifts and talents possessed by my brothers and sisters in Christ.

About valuing other people’s passions.

About seeing truth in another’s experience and validating that, even if I don’t understand it.

About having confidence in other people’s spiritual lives…choosing to lay aside my own perspective of situations and¬†dwelling on the¬†characteristics of that person¬†that¬†I know to be¬†true, noble and lovely.

About letting my own experience, not another’s, influence my relationships.

I know that true love is not blind.

I know that trusting does not mean ignoring our bent toward sinfulness as humans.

I know that love and truth are sometimes painful.

But still…

What if I just chose to be less cynical?

What if¬†I were humble enough to realize there is much¬†I don’t yet understand; much¬†I have never experienced.

What¬†if I were willing to listen and speak honestly, and to say “I don’t know,” sometimes?

What if I chose to only allow thoughts inside my mind that I could in good conscience voice aloud to the ones they include?

How much less would I struggle with anger, bitterness and insecurity?

I am a firm believer that God does not have the same spiritual journey laid out in the same sequential order for each and every one of His children.¬† We do not all learn the same lessons.¬† We do not all learn them in the same way.¬† We do not all learn them in the same timing.¬† Our differing experiences both past and present play a large role in shaping where God takes us and how He¬†chooses to take us there.¬† We do not all share the same sins…or as we prefer to¬†call them…weaknesses.¬† I struggle with pride and anger.¬† You struggle with envy and cynicism.¬† I¬†fight daily against immorality and lust.¬† You battle dishonesty and materialism.¬† In God’s eyes…our sins are not on the levels we’ve conjured up here on earth.¬† My lies are as black as your murder.¬† My pornography and your overindulgence are equally in need of repentence, cleansing and forgiveness.

Some of us have walked some very dark and lonely paths, with memories and experiences others don’t like to see held to the glaring light.¬†They are much too hard to explain.¬† We feel alone in the chaotic aftermath of realities such as¬†sexual abuse,¬†betrayed marriages, homosexuality, mental illness or addictions.¬† It is uncomfortable for¬†others to see our questions.¬† It is unnerving to face the truth of our existence and have nowhere to run or hide.¬† It is frightening to have to face the fact that as Christians, we are not spared from Satan’s destructive work and that indeed…innocents suffer at the hands of¬†the sinful.¬† That God works in ways that seem very wrong at first glance.¬†¬†It is hard for us to trust, and just surviving each day is a minefield experience.¬† Our¬†faith is so fragile¬†we can almost see it beginning to whither and die at the first¬†sense of a¬†breeze.

Some of us have spent much time in the light.¬† We’ve been sheltered and protected from the¬†darker side of our adversary, but¬†he comes to us in the form of an angel.¬† Subtle.¬† Soft.¬† Seductive.¬† Deadly.¬† We are fearfully self righteous¬†and staunch in our¬†convictions.¬†¬†We see it all in black and white, while we¬†cover our sins with masks of a thousand layers and colours.¬†¬†We are so far from authenticity that even¬†we cannot see past the first three layers.¬†¬†It is so easy to look down one day¬†and find, to our dismay, that our hands are¬†caked with¬†mud.¬† We are devastated at the maze¬†we find ourselves in.¬†¬†Clothed in all the right armour, we¬†find we have no idea how to use¬†it!¬†¬†It is such a cruel awakening to¬†fall into the reality of our own sinful existence.¬† Materialism, greed, anger, pride, selfishness.

Obviously, these are both very bleak pictures…and I¬†have no intention of even attempting to cover all the bases.¬† Please do not read these as labels or as reprimands.¬†¬†They are simply meant to¬†illustrate how vastly different we can be, in this diverse family of ours.¬† It is beautifully colourful, yet frustratingly complex.¬†¬†Our own experiences and perspectives are so large.¬† It is very hard to see¬†through another’s eyes…especially when we cannot even comprehend what it might feel like to be¬†in their shoes.

Some of us thrive on ministering outside of the church walls; reaching out to the lost and pouring out our time and resources for the ones we love who are outside the fold.¬†¬†We see daily the intensity of the needs around us, and ache with the weight of¬†their burdens.¬† We are intuitive, passionate, creative and motivated.¬†¬†Some days we feel all alone and wonder why others seem¬†not¬†to notice or care that the harvest is so great and the workers are so few.¬†¬†Our lives are filled with people of many shapes and colours.¬† They are children in our arms with skinned knees and broken hearts.¬†¬†They are bruised and¬†dark eyed¬†women on the other side of our smiles.¬†¬†Our houses are¬†filled with sounds and smells not our own.¬† Our grocery money disappears¬†and we can’t quite remember whom it fed.¬† This is a rich and blessed existence.

Others of us are focused on being the hands and feet of Christ to our brothers and sisters inside the body we love.¬† We are keenly sensitive to the glint of a tear, the stooped shoulders and the tight budget.¬† We have been so blessed by the family we love, and we pour out our¬†energy to bless in return.¬† We are arms holding the grieving and letting their sobs become our own.¬† We are eager, smiling¬†hands to the weary¬†Mommy of 4.¬† We are the card, the email, the phone call…just because we can and we care.¬† We are the diligent, faithful Sunday¬†School teacher…willing to say yes the third year in a row.¬† We are zealous in God’s¬†Word¬†and marvelling at¬†the awesomeness of His presence.¬† We are¬†consistently present and available to¬†maintain and strengthen the Kingdom of God.

So tell me…which is more important?

Which is most needed?

I think we all know that we need this diversity.  We need this differing of gifts and experiences.  We need each other!  But the resulting reality of these differences is confusing.  It is misunderstanding, conflict and pain.  It is a crazy cycle of hurt, disappointment, disrespect and resentment.

Why? 

Is it really so hard to extend grace to each other?

Is it really so hard to understand that we are meant to be this way?¬† Meant to be different?¬† Meant to serve in different ways?¬† Meant to experience our Saviour’s love and grace in different ways?¬† Meant to be healed, restored and sanctified in varying methods planned carefully by our Creator.

I don’t know.

I don’t know why we insist on chasing others down our own spiritual pathway, determined to see them understand what God has taught us long ago, while ignoring the progress of their own journey.¬† I don’t understand what makes us so arrogantly sure that we are right, that we see things from our Father’s perspective…therefore concluding that the other person does not.¬† I don’t know how we can claim love and yet lack any confidence when differences arise that God can and will do His work in others’ hearts…very likely in a much different way than I would plan and very often without my assistance.

I am not talking about issues that are clearly laid out in scripture…but please be careful what you say is clearly laid out in scripture!¬† There may be more gray areas than you’ve thought.¬† I challenge you to constantly question…is this an issue that makes a difference in salvation?¬† And be ok with admitting that sometimes we don’t know and we need the Holy Spirit to guide us.

I know as I write this that this is a hard issue.

I know, but I don’t understand.

I am unwilling to believe we cannot be better than this as God’s people.

We have been offered so much grace.

Please insert here that I am the chief of sinners! 

I criticize.

I analyze.

I hurt, I cut, I kick down and destroy.

I am ashamed of the ways I have spoken and the thoughts that I have entertained.

I am proud, self righteous and selfish.

But I want to do better.  I need to be more than this!

I want to fully understand that Jesus came to me before I was all cleaned up and continues to come to me in my dirty, repulsive state so that I can understand that my fellow soldiers are experiencing the same daily surrender.¬† It is not my job to clean them up!¬† It is not my job to point out all that has not been done yet…lest Jesus Christ would reject me for all the lessons I have not yet learned!¬† What a stench I still am to¬†my¬†perfect Saviour!¬† Yet He loves me, He chooses to use me in His¬†kingdom and He gently leads me along on the path He’s planned.¬† I can walk with them on the journey, and dare to enter into their struggles.¬† I can be honest about my¬†own state of¬†wretchedness.¬† I can¬†bring them to Jesus and bring them to¬†Truth, but I cannot be their Holy Spirit.

Sometimes it will hurt, and it will mean leaving myself vulnerable so that I can understand their pain.¬† It will mean ferociously tearing down the walls guarding my heart, despite Satan’s screaming, to open myself to pure, honest relationships.¬† Am I willing to do this?

I don’t know.

But I know that I am tired of pretending to be perfect.

I know I am tired of holding inside the words I know are true, honest, pure…tired of refraining from fighting for what is right, though others may misunderstand.

I am tired of having my defenses so high I cannot simply rejoice with those that rejoice and grieve with those that grieve.

I am tired of feeling like I need to figure it all out, when it’s obvious it’s beyond what I can possibly understand.

I am tired of teaching my little ones to share, to be kind, to be gentle…while I devastate, cut down and drown others in doubt.

What happened to doing to others as I would have them do to me?

What happened to seeing the best in people?

What happened to saying I’m sorry?

It sure gets harder as you get older, doesn’t it?¬† Or maybe it’s just that we’ve forgotten that it’s just that SIMPLE.

Smiling.

Forgiving.

Talking nicely.

Apologizing.

Sharing.

Maybe they’re right after all…everything you really need to know you learn in Kindergarten ūüôā

I’m sorry if this post ruffles your spirit.¬† It kind of does mine, too.¬† Admittedly I am frustrated often, which really makes me so ill equipped to even speak to this issue.¬† And who knows…I may be way off, right?¬† There’s a lot I don’t know.¬† There’s a lot I’ve never experienced.

One thing I am thankful for is that God never changes, and His Word is powerful.  He holds all the answers to all my questions, and with His Presence and power in my heart I CAN make daily, wise choices to be like Him every single day.

AF

 

 

 

 

 

Adoption Update

Hi everyone ūüôā

So I thought maybe I should give a quick update on how things are going with our adoption.

No, that’s not true.

The truth is I AM JUST SO EXCITED I WANT TO TELL THE WHOLE WORLD!!! ūüôā

We just had our very first weekend with the girls here at our house and…

it

was

AWESOME!

All four of us have been waiting and waiting and waiting for this.  Our first sleepover.

For Kirby and I it was amazing to have our daughters here in our home with us for three whole days, where we got to be their parents for more than a few hours.

For the girls it was so exciting to be able to play together all weekend in their new backyard, sleep in their new beds, and bring a truckload of toys to their new home…because obviously we don’t have near enough of those!¬† :/¬† Overall the weekend went way better than we expected!¬† The girls were very comfortable and happy most of the time, thanks to all the groundwork that’s been done before this.¬† We are now familiar people they love, and they’re used to spending weekends in strangers’ houses so this was not totally new.¬† They also paid a visit a few weeks ago to their new home so they could visualize where they were coming.¬† We did lots of fun stuff, but also had lots of down time just relaxing and being a family ūüôā

I won’t¬†go into every little detail, but I’ll give you some of the highlights.

1) Bedtime.¬† If you’re a Mommy¬†you will get this.¬† To be able to¬†do bedtime with our¬†daughters for the very first time¬†was such a gift.¬† Baths, brushing teeth, reading stories,¬†saying prayers (which are totally new¬†for my kiddos, but they love it), giving hugs and kisses and backrubs…the whole deal is just one of my favourite parts of having children in our home, so I was looking forward to this in a¬†BIG way.¬† Being in a new place is a bit scary for most kids at bedtime, so they needed some extra loving to settle down and sleep, but that was no problem for us ūüôā¬† Once their restless little bodies were finally relaxed and breathing deeply I just stared at them and felt incredible awe.¬†¬†Why God has chosen to place in my amateur hands such precious little lives I will never know, but I am honoured and¬†humbled beyond words.

2) On Friday when the girls arrived Kirby was still at work, so¬†they were waiting anxiously for him to get home all afternoon.¬† I kept hearing,¬†“When will Daddy be home?!”¬†¬†I’m pretty sure I got a gigantically goofy grin on my face every single time I heard those words¬†ūüôā¬† When he finally did pull into the driveway it was…”DADDY!¬† DADDY!¬† DADDY!”¬†and two little girls flying out the door¬†to jump on him and fight for hugs and kisses, just because I am married to the most amazing¬†Daddy on the planet and every single child who enters our home absolutely adores him ūüôā¬† This whole driveway episode is¬†totally normal around here, and it is always one of my favourite parts of the day.

3) We were incredibly blessed to have Kirby’s aunt and uncle give the girls money to buy new bikes and helmets as¬†their¬†homecoming¬†gift!¬† Thank you Dave & Sheri Shantz! ūüôā¬†¬†So¬†on Saturday we went to Canadian¬†Tire and let Akeisha and Alexa pick out their very own bikes and helmets.¬† They were thrilled.¬† We went for a bike ride¬†as soon as we left the store!¬† ūüôā¬† Alexa is only 5 and still learning to ride,¬†so her little legs got tired¬†pretty quickly, but Akeisha¬†is confident and fast on her bike, so after Alexa and I were done she and Daddy¬†went out on another long ride.¬† I’m thinking we will be using those¬†bikes a lot this summer!¬† We have a beautiful trail that runs down along the bay that is wide, gravel and perfect for biking as long as you can do some little hills ūüôā¬† It’s one of my favourite places to walk, and it also goes by¬†our favourite park so that’s a bonus!

4) Even though neither of our daughters have had much exposure to the gospel or the idea of God,¬†they are totally intrigued with the idea and love for us to sing and talk about God¬†with them.¬† We¬†have had good little discussions about heaven, God living inside our hearts, God as a spirit, and God creating the whole world.¬† Alexa will sometimes¬†ask me, “Will you talk to us about God?”¬† We are¬†in awe and¬†praising God for the curiosity we see in them regarding spiritual things.¬†¬†They are like sponges, ready to soak up all we tell them.¬†¬†We are doing our best to pour¬†the heart and¬†soul of the gospel into them at every opportunity.¬† This is why we are here!!!!¬† I¬†feel so refreshed and excited seeing the wonder and curiosity of a child hearing about¬†the things I have taken¬†for granted so much of my life.¬† In His name there is power!¬† I¬†am confident that as the girls simply enter our home and lives they will be enfolded in¬†the power, love and security we have in Jesus Christ.¬† What an incredible blessing!¬† All the things I have to give to my daughters are¬†nothing¬†compared to THAT glorious truth!

We also had a campfire, went to the park, went for walks and played outside in the beautiful sunshine!

So there’s my little recap of our first weekend as a family of 4!¬†¬†We are enjoying the ride so far, but know¬†there are many hurdles¬†to come.¬† Please continue to pray for us and our daughters as we begin this new phase of our lives together.¬† To those of you¬†who are rejoicing¬†and praying alongside us…your support and confidence¬†mean more to us than you’ll ever know!¬† Thank you for being willing to believe with us that with God, all things are possible!

AF

Ps. This is¬†Akeisha and Alexa’s favourite song for me to sing right now:

THE BUTTERFLY SONG
(If I Were a Butterfly)
Words and Music by Brian M. Howard
If I were a butterfly
I’d thank you Lord for giving me wings
If I were a robin in a tree
I’d thank you Lord that I could sing
If I were a fish in the sea
I’d wiggle my tail and I’d giggle with glee
But I just thank you Father for making me, meCHORUS

Because you gave me a heart and you gave me a smile
You gave me Jesus and you made me your child
And I just thank you Father for making me, me

If I were an elephant
I’d thank you Lord by raising my trunk
If I were a kangaroo
You know I’d hop right up to you
If I were an octopus
I’d thank you Lord for my¬†good looks
But I just thank you Father for making me, me

If I were a wiggly worm
I’d thank you Lord that I could squirm
If I were a fuzzy, wuzzy bear
I’d thank you Lord for my fuzzy, wuzzy hair
If I were a crocodile
I’d thank you Lord for my great smile
But I just thank you Father for
making me, me